Choosing who you are friends with is important. It may not seem like it matters a lot, “How can what my friends do influence what I do.” Well as Jim Rohn famously said “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” This is why it is important that you surround yourself with the people that push you and are also striving to succeed or achieve what you want in life.
Traits to Look for in Friends
Loyalty
You want to surround yourself with loyal people. A good friend will stick with you through thick and thin. They can support you when you are going through a hard time in your life. You also know that they will never betray and will try not harm you. If people only want to be friends with you because you are succeeding you already know their character. These people will then flock to the next successful person.
Drive
As I mentioned before you are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with. This is why if you want to accomplish your goals it helps to be around other people who are driven. For example when I am at tennis I hear other players talking about playing in many tournaments and training everyday. This kind of conversation can help inspire in yourself a similar want and can help you think “How can I do more.” Friendly competition with your friends can help push you more than by yourself. When I am running a cross country race and my teammate starts to pass me, I compete with them. I start speeding up saying in my mind “I am going to beat them.” Then my teammate speeds up, also inspired by this similar passion. This process continues throughout the race and can help both my teammates and I achieve better than we would yourself. When you see someone else giving it their all it can inspire you to try just a little bit harder. This is why it is important to be around driven people as being around driven people can bring out the best in you.
Kindness
You want to look for friends that are hopefully nice. If you see your friends showing others kindness it can help you also try to treat others kindly. I mean who would want to be friends with someone who is mean and treats others poorly. Being friends with people who are mean to others can make you feel that being mean is acceptable and it can give you bad habits.
Sincerity
This is where the term fake friends comes in. If these friends require that only you contact them and contribute to the conversation then they probably are not great friends. You need to look for friends that genuinely enjoy hanging out. It might seem kind of obvious but if you are hanging out with your friend and they are constantly texting other people and this happens often you probably should stop wasting your time on them since they show you that they don’t respect your time. I think this one is obvious but if your friend only asks for favors like money or homework then you really should not be friends with them. They are using you.
Honesty
This kind of goes with the other traits mentioned above but I think that this trait is also important. Honest friends will give you solid advice. For example, if you talk about getting a mullet haircut other people around you will say sure go ahead, but an honest friend will tell you it’s a bad idea.” Honest friends will tell you how it is which can help you improve as a person.
Perseverance
This is a trait essential in life. Being persistent and staying dedicated is an important trait to have in order to achieve your goals. This is why it is important to have friends who are persistent and never give up. Being with people who never give up will reinforce in you the will to never give up. If you were battling someone and they never gave up you would eventually be worn down because they have such determination.
Positivity
I think that most people have heard of the term “Debbie Downer”. If you have not, here is a brief explanation of one. A Debbie Downer is someone who says only negative things and is generally gloomy. If you have ever been around one of these people you can attest to the difficulty of these kinds of people. It is difficult to listen to only negative things all the time and the things these debbie downers are saying can really bring you down. Now, I am not proposing that you be friends with people who are overly positive, but I think that a friend who is hopeful about the future is good to have.
Connection
I think this trait is the most important because you could find a person with all the traits mentioned above but they still would not make a good friend. You and your friend need to have an unspoken connection that happens naturally. If you try to be friends with some and there is just no spark or fire then it probably is not meant to be. One side cannot just be contributed to this relationship.
Conclusion
Making friends with the right people can help you achieve your goals while also enjoying your life in the process. Try to look for people who are loyal, driven, kind, sincere, honest, positive, persevering, and most important people you connect with. These traits are not required in friends but next time you consider if someone is a good friend think about this list and if they are a positive addition to your life. Thank you for reading and stay tuned in for the next blog post of impromental.